1
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:06,208
陸老師也分享了
幾個招財開運的小訣竅

2
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,541
有夠倒楣的

3
00:05:39,083 --> 00:05:40,208
好像有一度停止心跳

4
00:05:40,291 --> 00:05:42,333
給予心肺復甦術
自動體外心臟去顫器電擊三次

5
00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:43,750
目前患者已恢復心跳及呼吸

6
00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:57,333
她不知道又把別人的遙控器
藏去哪裡了

7
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:05,458
妳怎麼長得那麼漂亮？

8
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,166
35就不要再挑了

9
00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,458
挑到最後只剩一個賣龍眼的

10
00:10:11,791 --> 00:10:13,041
妳現在正青春

11
00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:14,291
還不知道要煩惱

12
00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:20,125
還是妳喜歡什麼類型的？

13
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:26,291
不能這樣頭低低愁眉苦臉，這樣不好

14
00:11:58,416 --> 00:12:01,083
天啊，現在是什麼狀況啦？

15
00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:02,958
我抓到了…

16
00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:23,791
我先來啦

17
00:13:23,875 --> 00:13:25,541
-你後面排隊
-打擾了

18
00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:00,833
喂，不行啦

19
00:14:00,916 --> 00:14:03,833
-怎麼這樣啊？
-你怎麼會這樣下啦？

20
00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:08,708
-真浪費
-抱歉啦

21
00:15:05,916 --> 00:15:07,750
有時候確實是會這樣

22
00:15:10,833 --> 00:15:11,791
就會這樣

23
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,083
你不用怕啦

24
00:15:22,166 --> 00:15:23,583
他們不會害你啦

25
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,916
你這關過

26
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,625
保證活到120歲

27
00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:27,083
他們想要什麼，就給他們什麼

28
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:32,166
他們如果滿意，自然就會離開

29
00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:03,250
-欠債還錢啦
-喂…

30
00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:43,666
-好醜喔
-嚇死人

31
00:18:57,291 --> 00:18:59,625
天啊，阿好，妳是吃了什麼仙丹？

32
00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:00,875
-先生
-怎麼都不會老？

33
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:04,000
-怎麼不識字啊？
-我們聯誼都這樣啦

34
00:21:04,083 --> 00:21:04,916
不是啦

35
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,750
把妹的招數，我來啦

36
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:34,750
-這我沒辦法…
-你不是說你可以？

37
00:21:37,041 --> 00:21:38,458
-你不會你要講啊
-妳說什麼？

38
00:21:38,541 --> 00:21:40,000
-妳行妳來啦
-好啊

39
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,208
-沒事…
-有困難啦

40
00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:50,625
-有困難…
-有事？

41
00:22:50,708 --> 00:22:52,000
-有困難
-有困難

42
00:22:53,083 --> 00:22:55,125
-你跟她說有困難
-心有困難

43
00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:29,583
這個女的怎麼這樣啦？

44
00:23:29,666 --> 00:23:31,500
奇怪耶，東西吃完就要走

45
00:23:35,083 --> 00:23:37,333
-你是在講什麼啦？
-亂七八糟…

46
00:23:55,083 --> 00:23:56,833
我來找老菜脯

47
00:23:58,083 --> 00:23:59,500
你是騙鬼沒喝過水喔？

48
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:05,083
我這裡哪裡像是賣老菜脯的？

49
00:24:09,083 --> 00:24:10,000
-奇怪耶
-喂

50
00:24:10,083 --> 00:24:11,916
-你幹嘛跟她說對不起？
-你跟她說對不起幹嘛？

51
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,000
-你莫名其妙
-男子漢一點

52
00:24:16,291 --> 00:24:19,000
-有點男子氣概好嗎？別回去
-她是什麼東西你知道嗎？莫名其妙

53
00:24:28,500 --> 00:24:30,666
好了啦，妳這個曾美好

54
00:24:32,125 --> 00:24:33,916
我也可以叫警察把妳抓起來喔

55
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,375
走，來去派出所，打什麼電話？

56
00:24:36,458 --> 00:24:37,625
等一下

57
00:24:37,708 --> 00:24:39,125
你這個人是怎麼了啦？

58
00:24:39,208 --> 00:24:40,625
什麼22年前啊？

59
00:24:40,708 --> 00:24:41,750
你也拜託一下

60
00:24:41,833 --> 00:24:43,875
22年前你還在包尿布

61
00:24:43,958 --> 00:24:45,291
你真是的

62
00:24:45,958 --> 00:24:47,166
-對啦…
-對啦…

63
00:24:47,250 --> 00:24:49,916
-全世界妳最棒啦
-全世界妳最棒啦

64
00:24:56,208 --> 00:24:58,583
只穿一件性感睡衣

65
00:25:02,541 --> 00:25:03,458
-有沒有？
-有沒有？

66
00:25:03,541 --> 00:25:06,458
-沒幾塊布又超貴
-沒幾塊布又超貴

67
00:25:06,541 --> 00:25:09,458
-是我本人帶妳去買的，妳記得嗎？
-是我本人帶妳去買的，妳記得嗎？

68
00:25:11,791 --> 00:25:12,791
阿姐

69
00:25:19,583 --> 00:25:20,750
找到了

70
00:25:21,291 --> 00:25:22,833
妳真的是阿姐？

71
00:25:22,916 --> 00:25:23,916
不是啦

72
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,500
妳阿姐在那

73
00:25:30,125 --> 00:25:31,750
-阿姐
-快打開

74
00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:34,500
其實我很思念妳

75
00:25:34,583 --> 00:25:37,041
我很謝謝妳以前那麼照顧我

76
00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:40,625
-現在公司還算不錯啦
-裡面有一個塑膠袋

77
00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,708
都幫妳找到菜脯了，我收工了啦

78
00:25:44,791 --> 00:25:46,083
天啊

79
00:25:46,166 --> 00:25:47,791
你是皮在癢喔？

80
00:26:32,125 --> 00:26:34,416
去給我叫他老爸出來，讓我跟他講

81
00:26:41,166 --> 00:26:42,833
難道是我願意死那麼久才來嗎？

82
00:26:47,083 --> 00:26:50,833
我有燒一間美國銀行

83
00:26:50,916 --> 00:26:53,750
跟一卡車的美金給妳

84
00:26:53,833 --> 00:26:55,666
妳有收到嗎？

85
00:26:58,166 --> 00:26:59,166
不好意思啦

86
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,125
你記得嗎？我中頭獎

87
00:27:04,208 --> 00:27:05,041
有嗎？

88
00:27:05,125 --> 00:27:06,666
我中頭獎啊

89
00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:07,791
你…

90
00:27:09,666 --> 00:27:12,083
記得嗎？我中頭獎啊

91
00:27:12,166 --> 00:27:13,750
你看，單子在這

92
00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:16,833
妳怎麼現在才來？

93
00:27:17,416 --> 00:27:20,375
我燒給妳的銀行跟美金

94
00:27:20,458 --> 00:27:22,166
有收到嗎？

95
00:27:22,250 --> 00:27:23,583
收個屁啦

96
00:27:23,666 --> 00:27:25,416
什麼死人骨頭都沒有收到

97
00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:26,708
快跟你兒子講

98
00:27:26,791 --> 00:27:28,375
把獎金還給我啦

99
00:27:28,458 --> 00:27:29,958
怎麼可能？

100
00:27:30,041 --> 00:27:33,375
我一邊燒一邊叫妳的名字

101
00:27:34,958 --> 00:27:36,500
快跟你兒子講

102
00:27:44,166 --> 00:27:45,250
老伴

103
00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:48,000
妳在那邊過得好嗎？

104
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:51,458
怎麼都沒來夢中找我啦？

105
00:27:51,541 --> 00:27:53,208
我很想妳

106
00:27:55,833 --> 00:27:57,083
帥哥

107
00:27:58,583 --> 00:28:00,000
都那麼久了

108
00:28:00,833 --> 00:28:02,458
你還想不開呀？

109
00:28:02,541 --> 00:28:03,875
對不起啦

110
00:28:03,958 --> 00:28:06,000
妳在世的時候

111
00:28:06,083 --> 00:28:08,208
應該要對妳好一點

112
00:28:16,333 --> 00:28:18,458
妳還在怨嘆

113
00:28:19,166 --> 00:28:20,458
抱歉啦

114
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,250
應該要對妳好一點才對

115
00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:36,916
那個組頭是妳愛人喔？

116
00:28:39,458 --> 00:28:41,291
上輩子的事，說那個要幹嘛？

117
00:28:48,291 --> 00:28:51,291
死去的人不要糾纏活著的人

118
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:56,833
不要這麼要死要活

119
00:28:56,916 --> 00:28:57,958
有聽到嗎？

120
00:29:04,166 --> 00:29:05,791
要讓他娶漂亮老婆

121
00:32:27,750 --> 00:32:29,875
-你在夢什麼？
-你談戀愛了

122
00:35:04,875 --> 00:35:06,208
-太棒了！
-再一次…

123
00:35:06,291 --> 00:35:09,041
-太棒了！
-太棒了！

124
00:35:14,833 --> 00:35:17,458
太棒了，夾到啦！

125
00:35:22,666 --> 00:35:24,416
太棒了！

126
00:37:56,041 --> 00:37:58,208
十塊，不要害我倒楣

127
00:39:38,750 --> 00:39:41,416
-妳也太誇張了吧？
-對啊，這有什麼好怕的？

128
00:39:51,166 --> 00:39:52,916
找到了…那台，那邊

129
00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:00,541
沒有錯

130
00:40:00,625 --> 00:40:01,916
就是這麼簡單啦

131
00:40:09,041 --> 00:40:10,750
天啊

132
00:40:11,333 --> 00:40:13,250
怎麼那麼黑啦？

133
00:40:16,250 --> 00:40:17,625
-好…
-好

134
00:43:06,666 --> 00:43:08,458
-什麼狀況啦？
-快走

135
00:43:10,458 --> 00:43:11,625
-好，來走
-快走

136
00:43:21,166 --> 00:43:22,500
幹，別跑！

137
00:43:42,500 --> 00:43:43,958
怎麼那麼煩啊？

138
00:45:00,291 --> 00:45:01,750
幹你娘！

139
00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:11,291
什麼事？

140
00:45:50,041 --> 00:45:51,250
你這個冒失鬼

141
00:45:51,333 --> 00:45:54,541
不知道你奶奶我喊水會結凍
跺腳會地動？

142
00:45:54,625 --> 00:45:56,125
你不怕死就來

143
00:46:00,875 --> 00:46:03,250
太棒了，看鬼片真的有用耶

144
00:47:35,541 --> 00:47:36,666
你也拜託一下

145
00:50:22,375 --> 00:50:24,541
-你幹嘛？幹嘛脫鞋子啦？
-游泳啦

146
00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:27,625
走啦

147
00:50:30,791 --> 00:50:31,916
-真的啦
-不會啦

148
00:50:33,708 --> 00:50:35,625
不會啦，我教你一下就會了

149
00:50:45,750 --> 00:50:47,125
-我不要啦
-走啦

150
00:52:29,708 --> 00:52:31,750
不要擔心…

151
00:52:31,833 --> 00:52:34,375
應付警察我有一套

152
00:52:34,458 --> 00:52:35,541
冷靜一點啊

153
00:52:38,416 --> 00:52:39,500
警察先生

154
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:41,958
辛苦了

155
00:52:44,916 --> 00:52:48,333
R120202065啦

156
00:52:54,375 --> 00:52:56,416
（行動警察整合查詢系統）

157
00:53:14,916 --> 00:53:15,750
跟他講

158
00:53:29,083 --> 00:53:30,000
你不講嗎？

159
00:53:30,500 --> 00:53:31,875
我來

160
00:53:35,583 --> 00:53:38,750
沒有啦，他不講我來講啦

161
00:53:38,833 --> 00:53:40,083
警察大人啊

162
00:53:40,166 --> 00:53:41,250
請問一下

163
00:53:41,333 --> 00:53:43,625
你現在是憑哪一條開我單？

164
00:53:43,708 --> 00:53:46,708
-就這個，你看那個…
-其實車是我開的

165
00:53:46,791 --> 00:53:48,166
不是他開的

166
00:53:48,250 --> 00:53:50,000
我是有駕照的

167
00:53:50,083 --> 00:53:51,708
我是開機場線的

168
00:53:51,791 --> 00:53:54,250
我還載過那個麥可傑克森

169
00:53:54,750 --> 00:53:56,291
麥可傑克森

170
00:53:56,791 --> 00:53:57,958
你知道吧？

171
00:54:00,750 --> 00:54:02,250
看你這臉

172
00:54:02,333 --> 00:54:04,250
憨憨呆呆

173
00:54:04,958 --> 00:54:07,083
來啦，我跳給你看

174
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,583
麥可傑克森早就死掉了

175
00:54:24,250 --> 00:54:25,916
-什麼時候的事情啊？
-來…

176
00:54:52,083 --> 00:54:53,875
起來啦…

177
00:54:56,916 --> 00:54:58,916
-媽，妳怎麼會來？
-好好走啦

178
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,000
不好意思

179
00:55:00,583 --> 00:55:02,375
-回家啦，走啦
-繼續喝啦

180
00:55:02,458 --> 00:55:04,166
我要是不在你要怎麼辦啦？

181
00:55:04,791 --> 00:55:07,000
-好好走啦
-等下還要去唱…

182
00:57:14,875 --> 00:57:17,666
小姐，車要被妳弄壞了啦

183
00:57:18,666 --> 00:57:19,500
換速

184
00:57:19,583 --> 00:57:20,958
換速啦

185
00:57:26,166 --> 00:57:27,875
妳現在是有什麼困難啦？

186
00:57:27,958 --> 00:57:29,500
我來幫妳排解

187
00:57:29,583 --> 00:57:30,791
這車是無辜的

188
00:57:30,875 --> 00:57:32,458
這樣妳有明瞭嗎？

189
00:57:33,125 --> 00:57:34,750
來啦，我教妳

190
00:57:42,083 --> 00:57:43,208
就是這樣啦

191
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:50,250
-你腳是抽筋了是不是？
-快點啊

192
00:58:52,583 --> 00:58:53,750
-去啊…
-快點去

193
00:58:53,833 --> 00:58:55,250
-快去
-一、二、三，往前跑啊

194
00:58:55,333 --> 00:58:56,625
還猶豫什麼？

195
00:58:56,708 --> 00:58:57,875
-往前跑
-快點啦

196
00:59:03,333 --> 00:59:04,791
-年輕人很會跑喔
-加油

197
00:59:04,875 --> 00:59:06,791
跑很快喔

198
01:02:26,291 --> 01:02:27,750
唉唷，天啊

199
01:02:30,291 --> 01:02:31,958
-哪有砰砰砰啊？沒聽到啊
-有啦

200
01:02:32,041 --> 01:02:33,958
-哪有啊？
-砰…砰砰砰

201
01:02:35,125 --> 01:02:36,666
-有…
-有…

202
01:02:44,583 --> 01:02:46,125
-喂…
-看路喔

203
01:05:08,583 --> 01:05:09,583
擊掌！

204
01:05:09,666 --> 01:05:10,750
太棒了

205
01:05:10,833 --> 01:05:11,708
-太棒了
-太棒了

206
01:05:11,791 --> 01:05:13,666
-太棒了
-太棒了

207
01:09:38,541 --> 01:09:40,291
-就是那個欠錢的啦
-靠北

208
01:09:41,208 --> 01:09:42,125
垃圾，你別跑

209
01:09:42,875 --> 01:09:44,583
-砍死他
-你別跑，老子砍死你

210
01:09:44,666 --> 01:09:45,500
幹你娘

211
01:09:46,583 --> 01:09:47,791
-幹你娘
-砍死他

212
01:09:48,375 --> 01:09:49,666
幹！別跑

213
01:09:55,291 --> 01:09:56,541
幹！不是叫我砍他嗎？

214
01:09:57,541 --> 01:09:59,500
-幹！閃啦，快…
-靠夭啊

215
01:09:59,583 --> 01:10:01,083
-快點
-跑快點

216
01:12:14,458 --> 01:12:16,000
年輕人，這你的菜

217
01:12:59,333 --> 01:13:01,000
仙草乾

218
01:13:02,041 --> 01:13:03,791
賣仙草乾

219
01:13:05,125 --> 01:13:06,916
仙草乾

220
01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:09,500
賣仙草乾

221
01:13:10,208 --> 01:13:11,958
仙草乾

222
01:13:12,708 --> 01:13:15,000
賣仙草乾

223
01:13:22,291 --> 01:13:24,833
這個老菜脯雞湯對身體很好喔

224
01:13:26,958 --> 01:13:28,791
你們不要看這個黑黑的

225
01:13:28,875 --> 01:13:31,000
這是窮人家的人蔘

226
01:13:31,500 --> 01:13:34,583
看你是感冒咳嗽，還是解毒解酒

227
01:13:34,666 --> 01:13:36,041
吃這就對了啦

228
01:14:07,875 --> 01:14:09,583
-好了…快吃…
-吃飯…快點吃飯

229
01:14:09,666 --> 01:14:10,833
-快吃
-我口吐芬芳啦

230
01:14:48,416 --> 01:14:50,000
這是老菜脯雞湯

231
01:18:52,666 --> 01:18:54,416
-不要再想了，跟她講啦
-加油

232
01:18:54,500 --> 01:18:56,666
-試一次看看啊
-跟她講，快啦，不要怕

233
01:21:42,666 --> 01:21:43,958
對啦…吃飯…

234
01:24:33,291 --> 01:24:39,958
（救護車）

235
01:28:22,041 --> 01:28:24,250
賣仙草乾

236
01:28:25,250 --> 01:28:27,083
仙草乾

237
01:28:27,166 --> 01:28:28,625
賣仙草乾

238
01:28:30,541 --> 01:28:32,375
仙草乾

239
01:28:32,458 --> 01:28:34,958
-賣仙草乾
-媽媽

240
01:29:56,500 --> 01:29:57,958
你每次都給阿嬤觸霉頭

241
01:30:01,125 --> 01:30:03,083
給小緯以後娶漂亮老婆

242
01:32:44,708 --> 01:32:45,875
天啊

243
01:32:50,250 --> 01:32:51,666
阿嬤會捨不得

244
01:33:01,583 --> 01:33:02,833
阿嬤跟你說

245
01:33:04,250 --> 01:33:06,416
做人應該要越挫越勇

246
01:33:14,791 --> 01:33:16,500
你長好大了啊

247
01:33:17,000 --> 01:33:18,291
又帥氣

248
01:33:19,625 --> 01:33:20,500
媽

249
01:33:20,583 --> 01:33:22,208
是不是很像我？

250
01:33:22,916 --> 01:33:25,625
我們小緯比較英俊啦

251
01:33:38,375 --> 01:33:40,833
人生有很多事情

252
01:33:41,791 --> 01:33:43,291
都要自己去面對

253
01:33:44,333 --> 01:33:46,041
你要是想不通的時候

254
01:33:46,541 --> 01:33:48,458
過一段時間以後

255
01:33:48,541 --> 01:33:49,708
你就會…

256
01:33:51,041 --> 01:33:52,541
想不起來了？

257
01:36:20,916 --> 01:36:23,416
-來…擊掌！
-擊掌！

258
01:43:42,291 --> 01:43:47,291
（根據金英卓所指導韓國電影
《開心鬼上身》改編）

259
01:43:47,375 --> 01:43:52,375
字幕翻譯：劉玉敏